The Greece debt debacle has, it feels like, being going on for most of my adult life. Fine, it may only be a year or so, but it feels much, much longer. I’m way past the point where saying anything else about it is bearable, so, herewith, a Guide to Writing About Greece For People Who Can’t Bear to Write About Greece. [-]
- Talk about the U.S. instead. For full contrarian points, say it’s much worse/better/different than Greece.
- Say that the market has already discounted the Greece news, whatever it is, so it doesn’t matter.
- Tie it all to which banks are being bailed out, and tie that, in turn, back to everything you said about bank bailouts in 2007-8. Feign righteous indignation, or world-weariness, or both, depending on your particular bent.
- Clip pictures and video from the various riots. For extra points, run a livestream from a Greek TV station.
- Make jokes about auctioning off Greek islands. For extra banal points, be sure to only mention the best known islands, like Santorini, Mykonos, or Crete. For double-extra points, writing something about the Isle of Lesbos. Ho-ho.
- Headline the two-millionth article with some variant of “Beware of Greeks bearing debt”.
Feel free to add your own. I’m trying to be helpfully comprehensive here.