Guide to Writing About Greece For People Who Can’t Bear To Write About Greece

The Greece debt debacle has, it feels like, being going on for most of my adult life. Fine, it may only be a year or so, but it feels much, much longer. I’m way past the point where saying anything else about it is bearable, so, herewith, a Guide to Writing About Greece For People Who Can’t Bear to Write About Greece. [-]

  1. Talk about the U.S. instead. For full contrarian points, say it’s much worse/better/different than Greece.
  2. Say that the market has already discounted the Greece news, whatever it is, so it doesn’t matter.
  3. Tie it all to which banks are being bailed out, and tie that, in turn, back to everything you said about bank bailouts in 2007-8. Feign righteous indignation, or world-weariness, or both, depending on your particular bent.
  4. Clip pictures and video from the various riots. For extra points, run a livestream from a Greek TV station.
  5. Make jokes about auctioning off Greek islands. For extra banal points, be sure to only mention the best known islands, like Santorini, Mykonos, or Crete. For double-extra points, writing something about the Isle of Lesbos. Ho-ho.
  6. Headline the two-millionth article with some variant of “Beware of Greeks bearing debt”.

Feel free to add your own. I’m trying to be helpfully comprehensive here.

Related posts:

  1. Chart of Day: Honey, Greece is Cheap! Wait, Greece is Scary!
  2. Interest in Greece Holidays Goes to Zero. Now That’s Rare.
  3. The 300-Point Bear Market Rally Thing
  4. Yo, American Tax-payers, How Do You Feel About Teaming with Germany to Bail Greece?
  5. Greece: This Time It’s Different This Time

Comments

  1. Neil says:

    I live in Greece and it feels like this crisis has been going on forever.

    Αnd yeah, I feel like I read the same articles everyday with the points you mention.

    Don't forget to constantly refer to CDSs and whether they'll pay out or not.

  2. @PaulJHurley says:

    7) Slip in a comment about devising a "Grecian Formula".
    [rolls eyes]

  3. J Kraus says:

    Extra credit if the article incorporates a clever reference to Telly Savalas.

  4. But What Do I Know? says:

    That's a pretty comprehensive list–the only thing I would add is to use some variant on "Greece is the word" or reference the movie/stageshow Grease.

  5. besanson says:

    Full credit if you make a comparison with Argentina!!

  6. gigi says:

    All eyes on Greece, all eyes on Greece

  7. Apikoros says:

    I have to admit I'm as tired as you of Greeks bearing ____s…. How about a round or two of, "Beware of Banks baring grifts!"

  8. Apikoros says:

    And speaking of Banks baring grifts… please tell me how anyone can think that settling a debt with a going concern for 2 cents on the dollar is a good deal for anyone other than the grifter? (BofA is settling a $424 billlion fraud for $8.5 billion and that's regarded as justice)

    Makes you wonder what Greece could settle its debt for, doesn't it?

  9. Wyncher says:

    You missed the obvious… The Greeks took on the Persian Empire when it demanded more. Surely the banks should be a breeze in comparison.

  10. Hoover says:

    Speak ominously of Spain.

    Or if you're really in the know, mention Belgium and Italy but without making any specific predictions. Just mention them and sigh.

  11. Andrey says:

    I am sorry for doing something like an ad, but I am your long time reader, so it doesn't count :) We are developing a website that groups news into topics. On our website, you will only see news about Greece once, and that's it. Search for readrz.com. I am sorry if this is inappropriate, then delete my post.

  12. electra says:

    And don't forget to mention that we drink ouzo and dance sirtaki 24/7!!!!

  13. Paul W says:

    Why stop at the Greek border! You can also refer to dour, angst-ridden Germans. Haughty French officials (especially if you never use the word "haughty" and are not quite sure what it means). Out-of-touch, elitist Eurocrats. How happy you are England remained an island and stayed out of Europe, and how you predicted it at the time. How Ireland should just tell Europe to stuff it and walk away because with its low corportate tax rate Ireland will do just fine.

  14. besanson says:

    the temptation was unbearable!! …. http://vimeo.com/25431812

  15. g caldwell says:

    No solution in the land of Euclid.

  16. King says:

    I am forever indebted to you for this ifnomartoin.