From a reader:
My neighbor came over the other day. His name is Andrew Ignatius Greedling. He prefers to be know by his initials. He asked if we could loan him some money to pay his gas and electric bill. My wife and I listened intently as he explained how if he didn’t pay is energy bills that his home would go into foreclosure, he and his family would be homeless and the vacant house would have a very depressing effect on the whole neighborhood. Glancing over his shoulder I noticed that here in New England in the middle of the winter all of his doors and widows were wide open. I think it was for this reason that I suggested we bring this up at our next neighborhood meeting.
At the meeting he came and made his presentation stressing many of the same points that he had shared with us before. After a vote the neighborhood pledged to give him the money to bring his energy bills current. It’s been several weeks now and he’s back asking for more money. As before, I glanced over his shoulder and noticed that not only were all his doors and windows still open, but the house next to his was now the same with all its doors and windows open. When I asked him what had happened to the first payment he stated that after some consideration while on a weekend trip to Las Vegas he had decided to use it for a down payment on the house next door and to raise his children’s allowances.
Being perplexed by this whole affair, I decided the best thing would be to consult a financial advisor living in the neighborhood. His name is Fredric Edsel Dimsal. He also prefers to be know by his initials. His advice was that our neighborhood organization has no other option then to give Andrew Ignatius Gregory what ever he asks for. I consulted with an elected government official and the answer I received is that keeping the credit lines open is of utmost importance* and that the government was now sending money directly to Andrew Ignatius Gregory to use as needed. This same official said that the government was aware that Andrew Ignatius Gregory was sending a large amount of this money onto his friends in Europe and England who had similar habits as Andrew to save them the embarrassment of having to ask their governments for help.
Something about this whole thing seems like déjà vu, which I can’t quite grasp.