A Few Good CDOs

To be delivered with Jack Nicholson-style intonation, from A Few Good Men:

"Son, we live in a world that has bonds and those bonds need to be bought by men with balance sheets. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Fuld?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Bear Sterns and curse the short sellers; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Lehman’s death, while tragic, probably saved firms and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves markets.

You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me buying bonds, you need me buying bonds. We use words like TSLF, PDLF, Super SIV. We use them as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick a sub-prime option arm bond and pay par.

Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to."

[via Barry]

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