I really don’t know how best to summarize IowaHawk’s you-are-there white-trash treatise on the origins of the subprime crisis other than to say, read it. If you crossed Hunter Thompson and Michael Lewis, you might get something this angry and bizarre.
After five or six margaritas Linda seemed to calm down, and came up with another great financial plan: a home equity ARM. It turns out that in only three months the appraised value of my new house had risen by $50,000, and that First Coralville would lend me the difference! That would be enough to cover all my missed mortgage payments, with plenty left over for a sweet Yamaha dirt bike I had my eye on. We toasted to new beginnings, and my new $200,000 per year income.
That seemed to work for a while, but soon Linda and I drifted apart. She was clingy, but I need time to be with myself and my friends and my dirt bikes. She wanted children, but I had my junk fixed in 2004 after an agreement with a state paternity judge. Linda offered to finance my vasectomy reversal, but I told her my wife probably wouldn’t understand and that we should move on.