Michael Lewis in the Golf Bunker with Stan O’Neal

Laugh-out-loud funny Michael Lewis piece up on Bloomberg about ex-Merrill CEO Stan O’Neal’s on-course ruminations during his credit crisis golf games. Lewis’s conceit is that he has O’Neal’s scorecards on which, Lewis says (ahem), O’Neal scrawled notes to himself as events spiraled downward for Merrill from summer into fall of this year ….

Aug. 31: Vineyard Country Club.

PUTTING ON THE 12TH WHEN A MERRILL CUSTOMER CAME OUT OF THE WOODS AND WHISTLED. MISSED THE PUTT! HE WASN’T EVEN A MEMBER. SAID HE SAW A BLACK GUY DRIVING IN AND FIGURED IT WAS EITHER ME OR VERNON JORDAN. HE WANTED TO DISCUSS HIS PORTFOLIO. SOME PEOPLE! TOLD HIM THAT INVESTING WAS LIKE GOLF. THAT CONFUSED HIM LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO GET TO THE CART AND HIT THE GAS. HOW DID HE FIND ME? WILL OTHERS?

Sept. 22: Shinnecock Hills

FREAKING WATER HAZARD! FREAKING FREAKING WATER HAZARD!! FREAKING, FREAKING, FREAKING WATER HAZARD!!! REMEMBER: BIGGER BETS AT ML MEANS LESS TIME HAVING TO THINK ABOUT THE FIRM, AND LESS TIME IN OFFICE MEANS MORE TIME TO SWIM FOR BALLS. LOSING BALLS IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS, EVEN WHEN NO ONE SEES YOU DO IT. BEST CASE SCENARIO: FIND BALL. WORST CASE SCENARIO: $160 MILLION PAYOUT.

Sept. 29: Shinnecock Hills

OFFICE CALLED MIDSWING! ON A SATURDAY! WHY EVEN BOTHER TO PLAY ALONE????? 5.1 BILLION REASONS TO BLAME FOR THIS ONE. I THINK.

Sept. 30: Shinnecock Hills

MAKE THAT 8.4 BILLION REASONS TO BLAME.

Related posts:

  1. Michael Lewis on Subprime Mortgages
  2. Michael Lewis on Subprime: The Poor are Sharks
  3. Michael Lewis on Greenspan’s Ink
  4. Interview with Michael (“Moneyball”) Lewis
  5. Michael Lewis on Larry Summers