Time for the Ben-in-a-Box Fed Statement Generator

Yes, it’s the day before Fed rate announcement day, which can mean only one thing. Yes, that’s right: Time to visit the Ben-in-a-Box Fed Statement Generator ™.

Here it is — and, as ever, it’s strange stuff:

 

Release Date: October 30, 2007

For immediate release

The Federal Open Market Committee decided to increase its target for the federal funds rate by 25 basis points to 5 3/4 percent.

The Committee is reasonably sure that a more accommodative than usual stance of monetary policy, coupled with irritating underlying growth in analyst salaries, is providing ticklish support to economic activity. However, the vertiginous increase of hem-lines has bolstered ethanol prices, increased consumer confidence, and bolstered equity and debt markets. These developments, along with the neutral stance of monetary policy and ongoing rapid increase in analyst salaries, should foster lowered, generally speaking, economic stability over time.

Although the general likelihood of that decline remains uncertain, the Committee perceives that over the next five minutes or so the upside and downside risks to the attainment of sustainable growth are not balanced. The Committee believes that, taken together, the balance of risks to achieving its goals is weighted toward strong growth for the next few quarters.

Related posts:

  1. Instant Ben: You Can Be the FOMC Too
  2. Instant Ben: A Fed Press Release Generator
  3. Consumerist: Fixing Capitalism, One Crummy Vendor at a Time
  4. Instant Alan (Greenspan)
  5. Play economic deity, move markets, etc.

Comments

  1. That was made to be stolen . . .
    gotta hop