Okay, today’s stock spam isn’t really stock spam per se, it’s more like completely nutty financial spam — pretending to be from Fidelity? — but it still made me laugh out loud:
I am Murphy Joe, Funds Manager of Fidelity Investment International. The World Largest Funds Management Company with over $1.2 Trillion Capital Investment Funds. Neverthless, as Fidelity Funds Manager, I handle all our Investor’s Direct Capital Funds and secretly extract 1.2% Excess Maximum Return Capital Profit (EMRCP) per annum on each of the Investor’s Magellan Capital Funds. As an expert, I have made over $44.5m from the Investor’s EMRCP and hereby looking for someone to trust who will stand as an Investor to receive the funds as Annual Investment Proceeds from Fidelity Magellan Capital Funds. All confirmable documents to back up the claims will be made available to you prior to your acceptance. Meanwhile, I have worked out the strategies and technicalities whereby the funds can be claimed in any of our 6 Clearing Houses without any hitches. Our sharing ratio will be 60-40 while 0.5% will be for expenses during action. Should incase you are interested, Please email me back or call me on my mobile phone number or provide me with your phone number for discussion of this transaction in further details.
Geez, Murphy Joe, are you sure no-one knows you’re skimming 1.2% Excess Maximum Return Capital Profit (ECRP) from all Fidelity accounts? Assuming so, that’s great! I can’t wait for my checks to come rolling in.