Stock Spam du Jour

Okay, today’s stock spam isn’t really stock spam per se, it’s more like completely nutty financial spam — pretending to be from Fidelity? — but it still made me laugh out loud:

Dear,
I am Murphy Joe, Funds Manager of Fidelity Investment International. The World Largest Funds Management Company with over $1.2 Trillion Capital Investment Funds. Neverthless, as Fidelity Funds Manager, I handle all our Investor’s Direct Capital Funds and secretly extract 1.2% Excess Maximum Return Capital Profit (EMRCP) per annum on each of the Investor’s Magellan Capital Funds. As an expert, I have made over $44.5m from the Investor’s EMRCP and hereby looking for someone to trust who will stand as an Investor to receive the funds as Annual Investment Proceeds from Fidelity Magellan Capital Funds. All confirmable documents to back up the claims will be made available to you prior to your acceptance. Meanwhile, I have worked out the strategies and technicalities whereby the funds can be claimed in any of our 6 Clearing Houses without any hitches. Our sharing ratio will be 60-40 while 0.5% will be for expenses during action. Should incase you are interested, Please email me back or call me on my mobile phone number or provide me with your phone number for discussion of this transaction in further details.
Sincerely
Murphy Joe.

Geez, Murphy Joe, are you sure no-one knows you’re skimming 1.2% Excess Maximum Return Capital Profit (ECRP) from all Fidelity accounts? Assuming so, that’s great! I can’t wait for my checks to come rolling in.

Related posts:

  1. Stock Touting, Image Spam, and the Russian Botnet Problem
  2. More Staggering Stats on Stock Spam
  3. New Comment-Spam URLs Mutating
  4. Live from the Street! Spam!
  5. Is Gmail’s Spam Filter Broken?

Comments

  1. Jonas says:

    A question for Murphy Joe… Why is all the poorest of grammar in spam messages? Is we to believe somehow it is most credible? Do it help defeat the spam filters? This is my sincerest question.

  2. Andi says:

    Murphy Joe has been fired from his position as the son of a wealthy deceased Nigerian prince, how sad.

  3. mike says:

    Sounds like he’s really responsible for collecting 12b-1 fees. Borderline unethical, but hardly illegal ;-)

  4. Chen says:

    Incredible! I just want to tell Murphy Joe, it’s unethical to sent it throughout the world!!! Do you really think that we will believe what you said?