Top Ten List of Hedge Fund Manager Quotes

An entertaining “top ten” list of quotes (some perhaps apocryphal) from hedge fund managers, according to a recent presentation by someone from U.K.-based Hermes, an LP:

10. “If we don’t charge 2 and 20, no one will take us seriously.”
9. “We are 75% cash because we cannot find sufficient investments.”
8. “We charge 3 and 30 because that is the only way we can keep our assets under several billion.”
7. “We don’t invest in crowded shorts.”
6. “I haven’t shorted before, but I do have my CFA.”
5. “Managed Futures are a better investment than Hedge Funds because Hedge Funds are a zerosum game.”
4. “What’s a Master Trust?”
3. “Your Head of Equity doesn’t understand our Hedge Fund strategy.”
2. “Basically, I look at the trading screens all day and go with my gut.”
1. “He will be with you in a minute sir, he’s still meeting with his architect.”

Related posts:

  1. Analyst –> Hedge Fund Manager –> PR Guy?
  2. Carl Icahn’s New Hedge Fund
  3. Hedge Fund Drift Happens, Dude
  4. Hedge Fund Assets vs. Mutual Funds Assets
  5. Burton Malkiel vs. The Hedge Fund Industry

Comments

  1. Vijay says:

    May be Gekko can use some of this in his new movie. Knowing the sources that would have been awesome.

  2. No weekend reading list . . . ?

  3. excellent we want to put up links to stuff like this at P TRADES , also for Barry and your weekend reading —check your email, karel and i have been trying to reach you about what we’re doing at ptades, we’re going on to the FB platform in next couple days as the only commodities application, financial applications are grossly underrepresented on FB, paul knows a lot about the new platform etc

  4. excellent we want to put up links to stuff like this at P TRADES , also for Barry and your weekend reading —check your email, karel and i have been trying to reach you about what we’re doing at ptades, we’re going on to the FB platform in next couple days as the only commodities application, financial applications are grossly underrepresented on FB, paul knows a lot about the new platform etc

  5. John says:

    #6 says it all: shorting, what’s that, never heard of it.

  6. mike says:

    Not to be a nerd, but #8 “We charge 3 and 30 because that is the only way we can keep our assets under several billion,” (potentially) makes a lot of sense and is theoretically consistant as well. If you have a strategy that is capacity constrained, the logical thing to do is raise your fees until you reach an equilibrium (otherwise they’re stupidly leaving money on the table); raising more capital in the situation is self-defeating. That said, very few GPs actually manage their fund this way.

  7. rana nasim says:

    i am invester in spain i want make fundmangment company in dubi