Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and the Spam Problem

Rosencrantz: It didn’t have to be obscene. I was prepared. But it’s this, is it? No enigma… no dignity, nothing classical or poetic… only this, a comic pornographer and a rabble of prostitutes.
Player: You should have caught us in better times.
     — Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead (1990)

Spam is getting worse. Because at least the usual Nigerian fare was entertaining to read now and then, you had a sense they worked for their money, but suddenly I’m getting these barking mad messages.

People will no longer even go through the hassle of pretending to want me to give them a bank account number for the widow of the former Nigerian dictator’s ex-husband’s general’s friend to transfer in the money that was supposed to be used to buy arms for loyalists in the war of …. well, you know.

Here is the new variant, fresh outta my inbox:

I want to solicit your attention to recieve money on my behalf.

The purpose of my contacting you is because my status will not permit me to do this alone.
 When you reply this message,

I will send you details of the business and more information about myself.

C’mon, where’s the enigma? Where’s the dignity?