Everything I Know About Business I Learned from Colonel Flagg

Everything I know about business I learned from M*A*S*H’s Colonel Flagg:

“I’ve trained myself not to laugh or smile. I watched a hundred hours of the Three Stooges; every time I felt like smiling or laughing, I jabbed myself in the stomach with a cattle prod.”

“You think you’re real smart. But you’re not smart; you’re dumb. Very dumb. But you’ve met your match in me.”

“Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don’t know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion.”


  1. Of all the things I feel compelled to comment on that come from your site…it’s Flagg.
    I will still stop dead in my tracks and put my family through an entire episode if I happen to spot him.
    He’s Maxwell Smart, Jack Tripper, and Jim Phelps wrapped up into one awesomely disfunctional intelligence officer.

  2. for real business success tips, you gotta love this Flagg exchange:
    Flagg: I know every move you make, everything there is to know about you, so watch your step, Hunnicut!
    Hawkeye: I’m Pierce.
    Flagg: Fine, you want to call yourself Pierce, I can play that game too.

  3. The other classic Flagg exchange while he is trying to call in an air strike.
    Hawkeye: “why don’t you just nuke Korea.”
    Flagg: “don’t try to make friends with me.”

  4. This describe how most admin feel working for the VCs:
    (To Radar:) “Shut up, you, or I’ll use you to clean a cannon!”