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August 16, 2006
Dr. Strangelove at the Airport
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?Note to self: Next time I'm at an airport do not respond to the new check-in question about whether I'm carrying any fluids with, "Just my precious bodily fluids". The Dr. Strangelove allusion is obviously over-obscure, and it leads to unnecessary check-in delays, confusion, and explanations.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
-- Dr. Strangelove, or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
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Overly obscure? Hardly! In fact, I'd say that to the average TSA agent, the Dr. Strangelove reference would be so obvious as to be banal. And what those fine minds need is stimulation above all else, or why would they have chosen their chosen profession?
I suggest the response, "Only the sap of the blessed one that glistens in the moon." They'll recognize the rantings of the mad dwarf who surely controls the goings-on in Iraq, and should let you through the security line with no problems.
Charlie --
I think you're confusing movies/quotes with which TSA officials _should_ be familiar, and those with which they actually _are_ familiar. My experience is that irony is generally lost on them, so I try be totally straight -- but sometimes the airport air gets to me.
Great post indeed.
But given that the defining deranged actions of General Ripper involved a) airplanes, and b) bombs, this might not be the best time to be quoting about precious bodily fluids. Calling them preverts is also probably a bad idea.
:)
Just tell the TSA guys that it's grain alcohol and rain water.
Best. Post. Ever. :-)