Google Analyst Day, the Shorter Version

Here is today’s Google Analyst Day, the shorter version:

  • We don’t give guidance
  • We are going to insert ads in more of our products
  • We don’t give guidance
  • We are going to do products in more languages
  • We don’t give guidance
  • New products are really cool

As an aside, can anyone out there provide me with personal and direct evidence that Google CEO Eric Schmidt is real? Because the more I see him (he increasingly strikes me as a less spontaneous & convincing Al Gore  — yes, I know that is hard to imagine), the more I think that Larry and Sergey created him from spare parts as a grad-school engineering prank to convince Kleiner and Sequoia that Google had adult leadership.

———-

To be somewhat more serious, the day went fine, but there was really very little new here. A better job of monetizing existing products is long overdue, but it’s hardly anything worth banking, doubly so given the Time magazine revelations a while back about how capricious the Google guys are about turning down $100-million revenue opportunities.

Turning to personnel, the biggest watch-list item for most people was CFO George Reyes. Well, he showed up and acquitted himself reasonably well, even if the “man in black” outfit seemed a trifle hip for the room. Mind you, he was a remarkably uncharistmatic ringmaster — but absence of charisma was a universal problem.

Does Google penalize people for charisma in interviews? Because wooden-ness was a uniform trait of the Google-ers on parade. It was almost as if they had all been told that if they made news (like a certain CFO earlier this week), they would be fired.

Related posts:

  1. Google Needs Guidance Guidance
  2. The Google Guidance Myth
  3. The Google “No Guidance Policy” Drinking Game
  4. Happy Google Analyst Day
  5. Google and 3M’s 30% Rule

Comments

  1. Novell old-timers are just boggled that Schmidt is not screwing this up. Many of them think very, very little of him…

  2. Ouch … but you’re not the first person to tell me that. I’ve also had posited to me that Larry and Sergey actually knew about those worries at the hire — and still wanted Schmidt as CEO. Read between the lines.

  3. sandy says:

    …I’d give anything to be that multi-billionaire robot…

  4. TJNeville says:

    Maybe they turned down that $100 million revenue opportunity because they were prudently worried about the copyright issues surrounding the attachment of advertising to thumbnail photos.
    “February 23, 2006 ยท A federal judge rules that Google violated the copyright of an online porn site by posting thumbnails of the site’s photos. The ruling could have significant implications for Google and other search engines that reuse photos without approval from rights-holders.

  5. Guillaume says:

    If you ever tried to be hired by Google, you would know that this is a very inefficient process.
    As a graduating MBA from a top B-school, I have heard great stories and lived through some good ones too.
    That it happens at the CEO or CFO level is no surprise to me anymore.
    PS- And there is no need for classic MBA-jokes – the tons of MBAs Google is hiring are only instrumental. The engineers are most likely to cause Google’s downfall by themselves (note: I am an engineer too so nothing personal here).

  6. John K says:

    Despite the wooden delivery, I found plenty of entertainment value in the day’s proceedings. I think Rosenberg’s remarks were juicy nuggets – in that Google is planning some new twist to AdSense.
    My breakdown is here:
    http://gotads.blogspot.com/2006/03/googles-analyst-day-goldmine-for-g.html

  7. slm says:

    He’s actually quite funny and quick witted. I think being in his position he’s cautious about revealing his humour. At one seminar to CEO’s a few years ago, in the days of church scandals and corporate scandals he quipped ‘being CEO these days seems to be less popular than being a Catholic priest’. I think essentially a fatwa ensued. anyway, he’s real and really clever. I forgot to ask him, but I’m certain he laughed at your comment. I did!