Google: All Your Us Are Belong To Base

The WSJ is running a story tonight suggesting that it will be Ebay that takes on the chin from the new Google Base database service that the aforementioned search company launched and unlaunched today. While that’s possible, it strikes me that the service has far more applications than classified ads, although those are there too. Why not worry at least as much though about the effect on MySQL, or maybe on Microsoft Access?

obDigression: As some readers have pointed out, the headline I put on this piece is just too easy. Is this an AYBABTU homage for geeks everywhere, like when Google raised $2,718,281,828 a while back? Which reminds me, Cory at BoingBoing recently tipped another AYBABTU homage, that one complete with a lyric-adjusted version of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. Staggeringly strange viewing.

obDigression2: All of this reminds me of a story. In Grade 12 physics our instructor, who was Greek and sometimes struggled with the language, was cajoled into letting us sing Happy Birthday at the beginning of each class if it was someone’s birthday. Being thuggish and anti-intellectual high school students, we all enjoyed that much more than learning about … whatever it is you learn in Grade 12 physics, so, we piled it on.

There would be one birthday ever class for sure, but then it went to two. After all, singing two Happy Birthdays took twice as long as singing one; and so it went, with birthday singing taking up more and more time each physics class.

And then, one day, the instructor got mad. He noticed one student had seemingly had two birthdays awfully close together and said, “Hey, it was just your birthday two weeks ago!” You see, we only had a small class, around 20 students, so it was hard not to repeat birthdays if you wanted to have multiple Happy Birthday singings every day.

Realizing that at last, the instructor began shouting: “If you don’t stop this screwing around then one day it will be all of your birthdays!!”

As you can imagine, I’ve used that wonderfully incoherent threat many times since. It can be very effective.


  1. Isn’t it obvious? Google wants to create it’s own proprietary Web — the dream of every search engine. The road from open to proprietary is paved with good intentions — do no evil…

  2. Google Base

    Wow – Google is moving at light speed and jumping into yet another market and making yet another potential enemy with Ebay (see Wall Street Journal Article). I guess the idea behind this is to have everyone add their info into Google base, which will…

  3. It is rather disappointing that you piled onto the easy cliche with that post title…

  4. Easy allusion? Triple entendre? Late night no sleep? Pick your excuse !

  5. I’m glad you did it. It’s the only actually funny stab at that joke I’ve seen!