Eggcorns and the Next Store Neighbor’s Tea

I keep being sent eggcorns lately, bizarre incorrect phrases that improve upon (sort of) misheard common ones, and here are two examples:

“[John Doe] is my brother’s next store neighbor”. This one came in an email last week. And as is the case with all eggcorns, it sounds like the thing it is supposed to be (next door neighbor, of course), but in some strange and subtle ways it isn’t diminished entirely by being incorrect.

“I followed the directions to a tea, but …” This one came in an email earlier today. Again, it is superficially plausible — maybe people think the phrase was originally a metaphor that came from tea parties — but it is still delightfully wrong.