Okay, maybe “ever” is too strong, but in cultural dumpster-diving at Amazon earlier tonight I ran across the following elliptical review-cum-parable about a Modest Mouse CD:
Bill Clinton Should keep his pants on, June 6, 2005
The other day when I got back home from outter space I kidnapped Bigfoot. I have always hated him and I took him. Oh, he knew he was in trouble. I could smell his fear,So I tied him to a chair. Then I decided to pull a trick from “Reservoir Dogs” and cut his ear off. So I did it, I cut his ear off. But after everything he had done to me it wasen’t enough, I mean I can’t just let him off the hook JUST BECAUSE I CUT HIS FREAKING EAR OFF. I had to go grab a coke and think of some more ways to torture him. So I went into the house(cause we were in the garage)and grabbed that coke I was telling you all about and turned on my radio. And do you know what was on? “Float On” by Modest Mouse. I loved it so much that it turned my hatred into love. I took the awsome sounds of Modest Mouse to the garage. Bigfoot loved it too. He said it has a sound like nothing he had ever heard before. Our love for Modest Mouse made us love each other,and now except for the one time he tried to poison me,we have been getting along great. Thank you Modest Mouse,Thank You all.