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"Alberto is Currently Incarcerated. Please Call Back Later."

I have written here a number of times in the last few days about Amerindo founder Alberto Vilar (and co-founder Gary Tanaka) being charged with playing fast and loose with investor money (and I don't mean by buying Taser shares) at their once-massive mutual fund. The SEC and the U.S. Postal Inspection Service (don't ask why USPS is involved) have frowned on said practices, and the result is that Vilar and Tanaka are both in jail awaiting respective hearings.

As you might expect, Amerindo has had to mention the, ahem, change in an SEC filing, and it is deliciously decorous:

Gary Tanaka, the President and an interested director of Amerindo Funds Inc.
(the "Fund") and Alberto Vilar, Chief Executive Officer of the Fund who are
principals of Amerindo Investment Advisors Inc. ("Amerindo") were charged in
criminal complaints and are currently incarcerated.

Accordingly, the independent directors of the Board of Directors of the Fund
(the "Independent Directors") have taken the following actions:

- The Independent Directors have discontinued any sales of the
Fund until further notice.

- The Board has rescinded any authority to Gary Tanaka or
Alberto Vilar to give any instruction with respect to the Fund
or its assets.

I love the way they put it, "...are currently incarcerated." It makes it sound like Tanaka and Vilar just stepped over to the local jail for lunch -- "Those pastrami sandwiches are wonderful!" -- and they'll be back later today.

Almost as good is the bludgeoning logic of the notice, with the eye-roll-inducing bullet that Tanaka and Vilar won't be allowed to trade the Amerindo technology portfolio from jail. Good to know. After all, I've been there -- there are no Bloomberg terminals around. How could any civilized country keep their prisoners in a jail without Bloomberg access? Anti-business louts!

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